


i’ll be at the door

by sarcoline_sails



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Post-Break Up, but they’re still like upset, good ol angst am i right or am i right, im not too sure actually, this is old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 19:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcoline_sails/pseuds/sarcoline_sails
Summary: Harry’s sorry, but Niall isn’t having it.





	i’ll be at the door

**Author's Note:**

> random thing I wrote a while ago! it kind of um doesn’t make sense but!! yknow?!

“ _You_ -” Niall’s chest heaved and his fists clenched tighter, his whole frame shaking in sheer wrath, and Harry doesn’t think he’s ever felt so scared to be in the presence of another person. “You are the _worst_ thing that has ever happened to me.”

And-

And, _wow_ , that threw him for a loop. He was completely blindsided, because _fuck_ that hurt, it really did, but Harry can’t recall when Niall’s seemingly endless compassion mutated into something so sinister, so _cold_. Did he do this? Was he the one who tainted this living body of happiness?

“I- _Niall_.” Harry felt the tears prickling at his eyes and _damnit_ , he wasn’t going to cry, he couldn’t, not here with Niall watching him but _fuck_ , it hurt so, _so_ bad. “Baby, plea-”

 _“Shut up_!” A tormented yell ripped through the atmosphere, and Harry’s heart dropped when he realised it belonged to Niall. Fear settled uncomfortably in his stomach, the weight of it heavy to the point of pain.

“You _don’t_ _get_ to call me that.” His voice was loud, loud enough to make Harry’s skin crawl with the want to shrink in on itself, hide away in a small corner to escape his mistakes. Niall was pointing an accusatory finger at him, blue eyes ablaze and glittering with unshed tears. “ _No one_ gets to call me that.”

Harry stood there quietly numb, lips pursed tight in a wobbly line to hold back the inevitable, oncoming sobs. _What has he done?_

The sound of silence grew louder, his ears buzzing and his heart pumping the blood of a dead man.

“Get out.”

This time the words were quiet, but not at all soft. It was like Niall was reaching into the gash in his chest, bare hands infiltrating his body only to squeeze his soul right out of him. It hurt, _fuck_ , it hurt.

“ _Get out_.” The dreaded words are repeated.

Only then did Harry register the wet warmth of his cheeks, register the salty liquid that was rolling down to the seam of his mouth, his neck, his shirt where it left temporary stains to showcase his permanent heartbreak. His lips parted, but the words were lodged in his throat.

“ _Goddamnit_ , Harry! Don’t you get it?” Niall was back to being loud, voice straining and the veins in his neck bulging out, face flushing darker.

And his eyes—those eyes Harry had loved so much, those eyes that had provided solace when he needed it the most, those eyes that were burned into his mind—were unrecognisable, so ridden with grief and rage and pain, brimming with inner turmoil that Harry couldn’t begin to believe he’d caused.

“There’s no fixing us! Hell, there is no _us_. You did this. _You’re_ the reason we’re what we are, _you’re_ the reason we’re light years apart.”

And _Christ_ , he knew, he damn well knew it was his fault, it was his doing, but didn’t Niall understand that he regretted it every fucking moment since then? Didn’t he understand that Harry couldn’t live without him, that he was slowly crippling to dust inside his tough exterior?

“You _broke_ us, Harry. Ruined us.” Niall’s voice gave out for a moment, only his shuddering breaths audible in the room.

“Ruined me.”

And that was when Harry cracked, a sob tearing its way out from the deepest parts of his heart, shoulders shaking with the force of it. “Niall _please_ , I lo-”

“ _Don’t_.”

Harry only shook his head, stray curls sticking to his tear-saturated face. “But I _do_ , I love you so much it fucking _hurts_ , and you don’t understa-”

“Don’t understand what, Harry?!” Niall’s eyes flashed and Harry’s voice died down. “Don’t understand that you're a cheat? Don’t understand that while I was away, you slept with some woman on our fucking _anniversary_? Don’t understand that you _used_ me, and as soon as I was gone, you moved onto the next best thing? Because I understand all of that pretty damn well.”

And what could he say to that? Niall was right, wasn’t he? He’d done something irreversible, incorrigible, unforgivable. He deserved everything that was being thrown at him. But that did nothing to ease the pain.

“Leave.”

Harry looked up to see Niall hunched over the table with his back turned, muscles taut and limbs shivering, and Harry was practically killing himself because he was the reason he couldn’t comfort the light of his life when he needed it.

When it was clear there was nothing left to be said, Harry sighed, uselessly tugging at his sweaty curls and wiping at his eyes to hide the evidence of his broken heart.

With one last glance, he forced himself out of the room, leaving Niall behind with half of his heart for the second time.


End file.
